mambo-jumbo

hai hai hai blogger. (while signing in, i nearly forgotten what's my password. WHUD UP)

here's a little update of my fruitful life so far.

1) exams are over and holidays are here!

2) internships are coming soon and i hope everything goes on well and smoothly.

3) ballet exams are drawing near. and i'm not even prepared. ok, im scared as shit.

4) i wanna watch soooo many. yes i am movie deprived, seriously.

5) i finally sorted out my feelings for everything. (almost, everything)

6) i thank God for all the friends that i have now. <3

7) i'm revamping my room. not w Neon lights, but pretty pictures and pollies.

8) CAN'T WAIT FOR PICNIC W MY GIRLSSSSS.

so, as you can see. My life's been pretty well i would say. One of the best moments I had ever, since secondary school.

Ever since poly life started, i realised i got closer to my mum and dad. meeting them for dinner, chatting about my life and getting advices from them. Esp my mum. Lurv her xoxo

Been on tumblr often. Reading about all the "love" posts made me feel that actually there are many people having much worse-off situations than me. that really made me feel grateful for the family, friends and everything i have. hahah, i think i'm starting to get sentimental. LOLOL.

anyway, ive learnt something. "You lived for more than a decade w/o this guy, surely you would be able to live w/o him now."

hopefully everyone going thru a breakup, or heartbreak would be strong enough to go thru all these. xoxo, have faith.

A whole new world

School's been good these few days, although i'm starting to get dreadful with all the lectures and assignments. :(

I must say, Poly is really an eye opener for me. I get to meet people from all walks all life. When i mean all, it includes gays, lebanese and etc.

I'm not against them, instead I think they're really cool and special people. Support the PinkDot!

They dare to stand up for themselves, which is really daring.

Scholarship interviews are driving me crazy. It's the last and final round this Wednesday. i really hope I would get it. :( at least to make my parents proud of me. :D

My mum is really wonderful. She stands by me and never gives up on me despite the dreadful results I got during my secondary school days. I'm really grateful for that. :)

And also my grandma, she's been the one taking care of me since I was an infant. I want her to be happy and see me in my graduation robe. Not forgetting my grandpa too.

I'm getting too sentimental aren't I?

Have a great weekend everyone!

high cheek bones.

hi all! i realise it's been ages since i've updated this daed space of mine. been wanting to retrieve it long ago. just that i was just TOO lazy.

meet my IZZIT gang up there. haha, inside joke! but it's really funny when Mardy does it..

haha, gg.com i'm giggling to myself now.

SCHOOL'S BEEN PRETTY FINE I WOULD SAY!

assignments are pilling up, and so is the stress! LIKE A MOUNTAIN YO~

went for the scholarship interview today. hopefully i can make it though. hope all the last on-the-spot-thinking helps a lot... :( have faith Nicole!

and everyone who is currently taking MYE now, including my sister.

Mother's day is around the corner...hmmm, what shall i do? hehe <3

maybe bake a cake for her? or do a card for mum? dilemma!

i cannot wait to have attachments to various industries! sorry for that abrupt change of topic, it's 1236am. hehe, well i'm suppose to be asleep!

and today i feel weird and bloated.

god bless everyone, PS: the election fever is seriously HOT!

don't go breaking my heart,

they say life is full of choices.

following your heart is hard sometimes, and it's ok not to be ok sometimes.

why does a breakup have to be hard?

how can you appear to be nonchalant about everything, when my life is squeezing the shit out of me? they say love is not game. but why do i feel that you're player?

all i wanted was for you to fight for me? was it so hard?

you think by not talking to me, everything would appear fine. leaving it all to me, clearing the doubts i have in my mind, in the end telling me that change took over?

do you have any idea how much i'm going through? hell no.

Tumblr

I'm not getting back again.

Hi all.

Here to update this dead space of mine.

School's starting in a week, I know I ought to get ready and be prepared. But, hell no.

I'm still working, working my ass out. I don't know why, maybe just to shut myself from the utmost realistic world. Been meeting people from my new school. Hanging out with really great people. Gossiping never fails to cheer me up <3

I realised that we should all concentrate on the things that make us happier in life. Not those that we are all dwelling so deeply on. It makes one happier, and satisfied with life.

Friends by my side never fail to cheer me up. Of course, there are many friends whom I disputed with and ended up being nothing. Regretted it? Hell yes.

We all make mistakes. We are humans after all.

I get by with life working and hanging out with friends.

Till today, I saw you. I thought I wouldn't get affected by it since it's been so long.

I thought I've forgotten and let it go. But, I still felt sad when I saw you just now.

Why? I don't know. Life's unfair sometimes.

Even though, what I saw was only your backview. I'm very sure it was you.

On a happier note, school's starting soon, which means I'll meet new people and get you off my mind asap. Not talking to you really helps moving on faster. But then again, why shouldn't we talk since we are friends? Contradicting much?

Trying to forget, but it doesn't make it all ok.

It's been so long, I'm tired of being strong.

how many times will i take to get it right?

there are too many choices in life to make.

too many risks to take. to many sacrifices to make.

and in fact i'm really broken inside.

A brand new beginning.

Hi all. I hope you all had an enjoyable day today.

Went to the school to purchase my new MacBook yesterday. Happygirl123.

The functions are pretty well. I love the trackpad! (that's what Apple calls it.weird? yes i know) It has many lovely features in it. One finger for smthg. Two fingers for scrolling. Three fingers for back and forth. Four fingers to get an overview of everything. It's like using less energy for the same amount of work you do in other ordinary computer. Haha.

I must say that I was pretty reluctant to purchase the macBook as I was the one paying for it. So yeah. I'm sure all of us have read the news that tsunami has strike again... poor japan. i really do sympathize them yknow. Them being one of the fastest city in the world, now all to dust and nothing. And Sg has only sent 5 dogs and 5 humans. WTF. seriously la, Sg is small, but surely we can afford to send more than that right -.- I pray that all the Japanese there would be alright. Safe and sound. Hoping that the death roll will not rise again...

Mum bought a new cammy today at the IT fair. It was crazy and squeezy. LIKE A PACK OF SARDINES, literally.

But the bargains were really reasonable though. Comes with many free gifts and thumbdrives.

My mum even managed to bargained for a free battery. Wonder how she does bargaining so well. Prolly it's in the women's genes. Haha. Maybe I will be like that someday. Muhaha. k I feel evil. But seriously, it doesn't harm me having thoes kind of genes since it's helpful...

People say that the world is gna end soon. (ever since the events that had happen to japan)

Is it true? I somehow don't think it is. I somehow think it is. Yes, imma contradictor.

I hope by the time the world ends, I would have confessed all my feelings to the person I love so that I live with no regrets.

I really don't know what to do. Charles isn't here in Sg, so idk who to turn to when I need advices. :( Charles Charles Charles, come back plxxxxx.

sometimes i feel like a fool waiting and holding onto smthg that is not gna happen.

do you even mean it when you said sorry and you didn't appreciate me?

how come i don't feel that you're apologetic at all...i feel so stupid to keep thinking that you would still be part of my life. as soon as i move on, your long and emotional text comes along. what are you trying to say? are you fighting to keep me by your side? cos' i dont feel it.

i feel like giving up on everything. every fuxking thing.

i'm tired of fighting to keep you by my side. cos' in the end, after every sorry you make. it'll all be back again. those stupid feelings and the tingling butterflies i would get whenever i see your text. i hate the way you talk to other girls. i admit. i hate the way i care so much about you. i hate the fact that i'm still jealous when you're with another girl.

argh nicole. wake up. he doesn't care, why should you?

live your life. do your parents proud. survive poly. it's a brand new beginning after all.

all the contradictions make me weak.

I want to ....

1) highlight my hair

2) study abroad but idk where

3) move on with my shitty hopeless life

4) have smth that will make my hair grow faster and longer

5) school to start soon

6) do smth different everything instead of just sitting lazily in front of the tv.

7) travel around the world in 79 days

8) help the needy throughout the world. as many as I can

9) show men that women are as strong and dominant as them

10) talk to friends whom I haven't talked for a long time

11) be happy

stop running in my mind, aren't you tired?

hi all. once again i'm here to update this dead space of mine. ha ha ha. :P

many things happen in my life. and imma lazy ass to type everything out.

1) taylor swift's concert was the sex bomb man! muhaha.

ps; when are you coming back taylorrrrr? we misssssshhhh youuuuuu (L)

2) Chingay Parade finally ended! yesss and nawwwww :(

it've been really fun. getting to know the other ballet girls from another ballet school. :)

although my costume is kinda errrrr, *speechless* but hey! i had fun k! hehe :P

3) teaching tuition

I've teaching tuition to a Korean family for close to two months now. It's really tiring travelling here and there sometimes. But on the flip side, I still get $$ so yesss. hehe :P

4)ballet ballet ballet

currently taking over my teacher's baby lessons as she injured her knee. so yes, the kids are kinda tough though. but rather fun on the other hand too. contradiction much? yes.

i rmbr still stuttering on my first lesson. muhahah, it was my FIRST time la plox.

5) i'm happy, sad and confused about where am i now.

dont be confused, i'm not lost in a shopping centre. :) i think it's just something that everyone has to go through. something about finding yourself. and being confident about yourself.

it's about time i stop critisizing myself and find more time to improve on myself instead. :) with more time to improve myself, i have lesser time to critisize others as well as myself. :D

so it's kinda like a win-win situation. :)

on a lighter note, there's America Got Talent today on channel 5 tonight! :P

sorry for the abrupt change ya? cos i've been sitting in front of the comp for the past three hours. and my brain is kinda weird nowwwww~

till here thn,

PS! CHARLES RETURN MY MAILLLLLLLLL~

and i miss you and another you too. xoxo (L)

I'm busy getting stronger.

Valentine's is around the corner, and i have yet to come up with any plans for that day.

My mood is haywire today. A minute I'm good and laughing, the next I'm sitting there, crying about things I shouldn't be thinking about. Looks like moving on isn't so easy as it seems. Why is it so easy for you then? Maybe the one who cares less wins the game of love.

Went to tumblr.com just now. It never fails to inspire me in a way or another. Be it in life, attitude and most importantly relationships and how about being confident and feeling beautiful all the time. Sometimes I do wonder how is life without tumblr.com

Those of you out there who do not have one, do sign up for one. It really have many pretty pictures and inspiring quotes. Believe it or not, you'll not regret it.

Above is an inspiring quote I found in tumblr.com by Marilyn Monroe.

She's quite a diva back then. And she's a truly beautiful person inside and out. :)

Somewhat like Audrey Hupbern. Really cool. Pretty faces everywhere.

I got a girft for my sister. I'm not too sure if she likes it or not, but it's the thoughts that count, no

? Many a times I really hate her, like literally hate her. But as a matter of fact, I'm still her elder sister. Most of the time, I think about how life would be so mundane without my two sisters. Nobody to shout at me when I'm singing in the showers, nobody to fight with for silly things etc. And that I'm grateful that I have two beautiful sisters inside and out. Only sometimes, not all the time. Sometimes they can really be a bitch and get on to my nerves. :)

so yes, i hope every couple and singles enjoy their valentine's day no matter what! ^^

god bless everyone! (L)

xoxo,

Nicole

a day out.

so here i am once again, blogging. haha. went out with Sandy today. met her at 9am to have breakfast @ Citylink. Proceeded to Suntec for my interview. :) the guy hasnt called me yet though. oh heez. i do very hope that i get the job. get my head off a couple of things.

I FINALLY BOUGHT THE RING, yes. thank you sandy for the ring. (L) :P

we traveled a lot today though.

from cityhall>suntec>MBS>somerset>bugis>illuma>home sweet home.

subway is weird cos they dont allow card cards to be played at their shop. said smth got to do the management or smth. i find that really stupid. omg. for god's sake, it's picture cards! not pokercards ass! LMAO.

anyw, today is a tiring day for me cos' i woke up at like... hmm, 815? oh my.

i wonder what time will i get up for school when it starts....

i somehow dread to start school, yet i am feeling excited to meet new friends.

it's a feeling i always get. i'm not a fan of change i suppose...

i needa get a job asap if not i would rot at home.

teaching ballet is fun yet tiring. :( nawwww, i whine too much. the children are fab. (Y)

and yes to you.

it's really annoying that you always leave half your words unsaid. so, whatcha trying to tell me?

you gave me hopes, and you crashed them.

it always seems to me that i'm a toy. oh when you're having fun with others, i'm forgotten by you, again. as usual. when you talk to me, i seem like your heaven on earth. this is pretty stupid. can't you be like a man and just tell me what you want? i find myself so stupid waiting and waiting and getting hurt all over again. you don't care, you never will.

second chances are bullshit, like seriously.

you gotta earn it back this time. cos' i aint giving in no more.

it really sucks. flashbacks are occurring all the time. wasting my time, thinking on unwanted stuff. so what now? all that you said before is bullshit? or are you just trying to sweet talk me. i really don't know. a minute you were nice, the next you're as cold as ice.

just what do you want seriously? tell me. so that i dont get hurt by your silly words again.

enough of heartbreaks, please.

happy cny (L)

hi all, it's been long since i've blogged. :P

Cny is here! feel the festive mood yet? haha. all have been going well for me so far.

been to many relatives' places, played cards (won $$ enough for 3 mcflurry!!) muhaha.

It's sort of like a tradition to play cards at my nenek's house every Cny. :)

Maybe habit, or wtv. But shiokkkkk~

Tonight I'm gg to my aunt's house. Gna spam cards and mahjong. (L) hehe.

besides that, did i mention pineapple tarts and loveletters? muhahaha.

muah favourite. :D

i love the food and steam boat. and the $$ i win from cards. :P

oh yeah, hi charles!! how are you? i know you'll read this. Viber me when you see this k?

miss youuuuuuuuuu. :(

come back soon yeah? maybe before you head for states or smth. we needa hang out more before you head for states. cos' you'll have many blond babes there and forget me in sg. tskkkk.

anyw, Viber creates wonder ( i need to emphasize this!) or WhatsApp.

HAPPY CNY!! ^^

happy birthday

Dearest Charles,

I know your birthday has passed, but it's the thought that count. So here goes.

Happy Birthday first of all. :D You're finally 18. At this age, you can probably do many things that normal teens like me can't do. Buy beer legally, go to pubs and all. Sure is fun! :P

You've been an awesome guy, though sometimes petty. Just a little tad. Hehe :P

You've always been there for me. Through the hard times and the happy times we shared. I"m truly grateful for that.

You've played an important role in my life, and I do hope that you do stay in my life.

Being my best friend and watching girly movies together. :D

You've been an encouraging friend. Never fail to make me smile when I'm down. Nevertheless, there were times whereby we quarrel and argue. Fortunately we're still going strong. :)

You give great advices, and you understand girls more in-depth than how girls understand themselves.

Also, you're a really great fashion advisor. Muhahaha~

I do hope that we can keep in contact via Viber and emails.

(I told you Viber creates wonders) :P

Please don't forget me alright!!! All the best to you, and may the good Lord bless you.

With love,

Nicole (L)

expect the unexpected.

The results are out, and I'm happy to say that I'm contented with my results. *inserts smiles*

Even though I'm kinda disappointed with my science results, but still, I'm not really a science person. So yeah, I've tried my best!

Hard work does pay off.

To speak the truth, I've been slacking all the way during my Secondary 4 days. Except for the tense period before prelims. :/

I don't see the importance of studying so early! Feel kinda stupid feeling that way though.

Anyw, hopefully i get to the course I want though. :D

*cross fingers*

a brand new start

this pix is very cute so i chose it. but it has completely nothing to do with my post below. hah

So yes, the moment of truth is over! and i am happy with my results, even i didnt do well with my science :( oh well. ALL IS WELL i must say.

all the butterflies in the tummy are gone! :D yes, and i can finally say that I've made my parents proud of me! :D it's a good thing.

I cried upon receiving my results, but well. TEARS OF JOY. :)

A brand new start for me though. new school and new friends.

I must say that I am lonely most of the time, even though I may seem all happy and everything.

The truth is that I only have a few friends in school, which is not shocking at all.

I'm glad that I have happy moments with them :)

But many things have happened, and most of them hate me now i guess.

However, I am glad that a couple of them stood by me.

I'm a difficult person. You can't tell the truth from my words. So yeah, I am not a very good friend. I'll regard you guys as my very good friends in school. Even though I know you guys dislike me.

NEW SCH, NEW FRIENDS, NEW START.

hopefully i will not do the same thing like I did to my previous friends :(

GOD BLESS EVERYONE!

xoxo,

Nicole